About

Our men's retreat is a private rural space to relax and unwind in.

A short drive from Hamilton Airport & city in the Waikato, we have created a welcoming destination for you to visit or stay and enjoy a much-needed break from the modern world.

MASSAGE

Lisa personally provides simple, relaxing full-body massages to melt away your stresses. There are no complicated options, no hot stones, no aromatherapy, essential oils, rituals or confusing words. No wondering what a 'lingam' or 'yoni' is - just plain English. We do not use sub-contractors for massaging. You will have time to get to know Lisa a little, discuss your massage and be totally comfortable before your session.

Simple coconut oil is used, or a water based gel if you prefer. Privacy towels are optional. Massages can be up to 1.5 hours in duration. Reverse relaxing massages are an option too providing an opportunity for you to learn the basics, or practice your own skills.

The Intimate Ape Men's Retreat Outdoor Massage

Massage, by its very nature, is intimate and some would say sensual, involving gentle touch and so is a significant part of your visit. However, you are welcome to not have one if you prefer to use your time differently.*

The cottage has a dedicated warm massage room, with shower facilities and subdued lighting with gentle, hypnotic music. On warmer days there is the option of an outdoor massage under a full UV protected roof.

In the depths of winter, the main homestead has the option of a very comfortable room for a massage in front of a real wood fire.

* Please note: Our prices are the same with or without a massage.

ACCOMMODATION

We have a fully self-contained cottage for you to stay in. It looks old, but was actually built about 5 years ago to match the design of the 100 year old homestead. Its comfy, quiet and a great place to relax.

We only ever have one guest at a time visit or stay.

The cottage has a Queen double bed with a small dining table in the bedroom & TV. The kitchen has a hob, microwave, under bench fridge with freezer compartment and all the utensils you'll need. The 'lounge' is set up permanently as a massage room and also has a sofa and TV. The bathroom is clean modern. All towels & robes etc are supplied.

The cottage overlooks our private garden and, being east-facing, the front porch is bathed in morning sunshine to enjoy your coffee. You are welcome to come in the main homestead too - especially in winter when we have the double-sided fire keeping is warm.

Your Kiwi Continental breakfast includes eggs from our chickens, choices of fruit, cereal, breads, spreads, yoghurt and as much tea & coffee as you can drink! Platters include a finger food selection of cheeses, hams, chicken, olives, breads etc. We'll always check you dietry needs an accommodate accordingly.

GARDENS

The private part of the garden is about 2,000sqm - in this area to can be fully naked to enjoy the elements (you do not have to wear clothes in the main house either). The section wraps around a 60sqm deck which is fully UV protected, wind protected on 3 sides and has 2 spas, an outdoor bar, sofa, fan for cooling & fridge. In summer one spa is set at 38° and one a cooler 34°.

There is a solid outdoor bed to sunbathe on and sheltered areas to escape the sun. On colder days snugs & blankets are provided to experience being outdoors. The rear of the property also has a chiminea.

The garden has lots of bird life and views over dairy farmland on one side. Although we have no pets, you'll see the occasional neighbour's cats but they won't bother you! Being rural you may hear possums at night too. At night, garden and deck lights add to the ambience & help create a magical space. There is little light-pollution so the night sky is quite beautiful.

Our retreat is a private rural space to relax and unwind in - we look forward to welcoming you.